Foster - Adopt
Is it Worth It?
A 30 + Year Journey in Fostering Children

Why so Many Moves?

Saturday, June 13, 2015
Kathy Blomquist
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Some children are moved because the situation of the foster parents changed through sickness, death or divorce.  The parents are honestly in a situation where they can no longer properly care for the children.

Some are moved because of Foster Parent issues that are inexcusable.

One of the children I have was moved 5 times between the ages of 6 & 10. We were her 5th placement.

Her first placement at age 6, was temporary until they could find a place that would take her and her siblings together.

In the next placement, they were made to scrub the floor on their hands and knees, serve breakfast to the foster parents in bed and massage their feet at night.

That home was shut down and the kids were moved into a new home. In that home they were kicked and bullied by an older foster brother, they got rid of the kids one at a time. They dropped the child I have off in a parking lot on her own and called DCFS to come and get her. That home was shut down and the siblings permanently separated.

She was then sent to a group home with all teens.  When we got her at age 10 she knew everything about teenage make out sessions and R rated shows and knew how to find all types of pornography sites.  But she had no clue what a Webkin was. 

These homes were new foster homes that had been approved for foster care , but not until the kids were actually in their homes was anyone able to see the true situation.

Sometimes moves happen because the foster parents are unable to bond with the child..  There could be something in their own background the child triggered that  catches them by total surprise.   Examples of this would be if the Foster parent were sexually abused as a child and the foster child has a similar background  it could set off  triggers that the foster parent didn’t even know were there. 

Another example is a foster parent I know who was having a hard time bonding with her 3 new foster kids of Indian descent.  After some time went by she realized that the problem came from a traumatic period of time in her childhood that involved 3 young boys of Indian descent.   She had to decide if this was something she could fix within herself or if it was better for the kids to have them moved.

One of the saddest moves I have seen is after a young boy had been moved several times he was finally adopted by a foster family.  Then the parents separated, so they sent the boy back into foster care. When I met him he had been adopted for the second time but the number of times he had been moved was a bigger number then his age. He was working hard on learning to trust adults.

Then there is the caseworker who is “checked out” who will move the child under the guise of “erring on the side of the child”  The child complains or accuses the foster parent of  inappropriate behavior or abuse.  The child is immediately taken out of the home and then the situation is looked into.  This can happen when a caseworker has not been properly involved in the case and doesn’t really know the foster parents or the child.  They are really protecting themselves at the expense of the child.   A caseworker who knows the child and the family will first look into the situation knowing there is a high chance the child is not being honest and a move can be spared.